Since december, The Tea & Chanting Sangha has been working to accumulate 100,000 recitations of OM MANI PADME HUM for all those affected by police violence, brutality and militarization. Yesterday, we met our goal and accumulated 101,276. When I found out I rejoiced. With time, dedication and perseverance we had met our goal.
Towards the end of the collection, I learned that it was ok to do recitations while walking, all this time before I was doing recitations while sitting. While I could get some done my body would get really tense and would want to move. I took my recitations off of the chair and they went with me when I walked anywhere. Often times doing more recitations was a motivation for me to walk to the store to get a shot of wheatgrass, take the time to walk to the pretty overlook of the river with trees in the distance.
The days leading up to this I had a feeling that we were going to reach it soon and when I was faced with this I noticed there to be a certain sadness in my heart. Doing these recitations became such a big part of my day and I knew that after we reached our goal, I wouldn't know what to do next. It made me remember a talk I had with a cousin who is also an artist. We talked about the wonderful feeling of finishing a project and also that sometimes sadness came along with that. How one could cling to the project that had been completed for one might not know what will come yet, or if there is something to come, there might not be the attachment for it. It's interesting that of course attachment comes up in this. It is something that I have been being more mindful of since someone introduced me to the concept in December.
Before I began collecting recitations of OM MANI PADME HUM for the Tea & Chanting Sangha, I wasn't really involved in a chanting practice. It was interesting to just dive right in. We would get together once a week online and chant for 40 minutes. I had never done that before, and we would do it at a pace that at the time I could not keep up with, but through practice became more plausible. The amount of recitations I collected daily also grew with the discovery that chanting can get rid of anxiety! Seriosouly! This was a most amazing discovery for me for I have been struggling for a very long time with anxiety and trying to cope with it without the use of medication has been extremely challenging. It's absolutely exhausting most times. I noticed after the first 40 minute chanting session that we had together that afterwards I felt this sense of peace. Kind of like after getting acupuncture, or maybe working out for some or having sex for others. A couple days later I had been struggling with my anxiety, I remembered that moment after chanting where I felt so at peace that I thought it would be worth a try, if it doesn't work at least I will have had a break where I could get my mind off of the anxiety. I did 5 recitations and my anxiety was gone. I was so happy that I think I cried. My anxiety did come back four hours later, so I just did more chanting and then it went away again. My therapist was so happy when I shared this with her. I don't know if I would have learned this had I not just found myself engaging in the practice of the collection of 100,000 recitations of OM MANI PADME HUM.
Being able to collect these recitations was really important because like many people I was upset about what was happening with Ferguson and everywhere else around the world were police officers were using their power in excess and no longer protecting the people they serve but rather killing and beating them without any justice. I've only been a part of one protest (other than the ones I do on my own by choosing where I spend my money, who gets my time and how to protect the environment) and it was a really peaceful protest on a college campus. As of today, the idea of being in a crowd protesting makes me feel incredibly anxious, maybe one day I will be able to do it without having a panic attack but that day hasn't yet come. I've had several panic attacks at Burning Man in the crowds there. Reciting OM MANI PADME HUM, educating myself more, and opening myself up to what it really meant to be someone of privilege allowed me to be at a space where I knew I was doing something. I was working hard at envisioning a world where police are there to love, protect and be a friend of the citizens of this planet. With that being said, I know that this is a small step in this grand scope of social justice. I know there is more work to be done.
May all beings be well. May all being find peace. May all beings receive justice.
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