A Bounty of Gifts

    Re-entry after Burning Man can be a bit challenging.  This year it was especially hard for me.  I think the combination of being super devoted to healing others, fulfilling my promises of carrying messages to the temple, getting really sick and not be able to have a day/night to be able to do whatever I wanted, the pure intensity of it, the inexplicable magic and not being able to get the sense of freedom that I wanted in the ways that I wanted it (time to be mindful that I did get freedom in other ways) left my heart hurting, my mind blown, my body sick and hurting and my soul very sad perceiving that I would need to wait another year before being able to get the things I wanted out of Burning Man.  After some contemplation I know that I got what I needed and that it may not have manifested itself in the ways that I wanted, that I can MANIFEST the freedom I wanted there through some action here, that it is better to accept MAGIC than to wonder how it is possible (explaining the inexplainable can be very hard on the mind), that I am still processing what happened and that I may never finish processing it, that through working through some hard work, challenging actions and fears I have come out of it a stronger, more fearless, more self-confident and more belief in myself as a healer.  I know that through every bit of advice that I gave to others was also advice for myself.  My brain now thinks "What am I doing, I wasn't going to write all this about Burning Man I was going to write about gifts and now I am writing about Burning Man and I haven't figured it all out yet and I am writing like I have.  Continue on.".

     I had the intention today to write about gifting.  Gifting is a a great foundation of Burning Man and can present itself through actions, words, love, physical gifts, when we open our mind to exactly "what a gift can be" we can realize how many of them we have in our lives.  Some gifts that I got on the playa included but are not limited to:
a ride to go get my stuff from the truck stop (this need not be explained)
acupuncture
energy work
m&m's
prunes
a children's book that was written by a woman who came to me for consultation
a laminated picture with a quote on the back
a tow out to the temple to see it burn
help getting my tent stakes out from the ground
a meal from camp Potluck
a necklace with a shell
a necklace that lights up to audio activation.  It blinks when I or others talk. HOW COOL :)
high fives (seriously high fives are awesome and there needs to be more of them)
kind ears and souls to listen to me when I was overwhelmed. sick, frustrated and disappointed
a bounty of yummy food
a beautiful creative skirt thingy
3 pieces of mail (my campmates think I am very popular) 2 of which were received on a day that I  
      was oh so sick and oh so sad (no one wants to get super sick at burning man especially on their                    
      day off)
An origami crane that was in one of the pieces of mail
A piece of art that was in another one of the pieces of mail
A beautiful card that made my soul feel alive and connected when I even think of it (the other piece
      of mail
A spritz of water on an utterly hot day
Magical Holy Basil and Sweet Rose tea
Ayurverdic healing
Ginger Crystals
Yummy Mocktails
A flower! (I told someone they were beautiful and then they gave me a real live flower)
Belief in me
Hugs! Lots and Lots and Lots of Hugs.  I LOVE hugs! and am always willing to accept more unless
       of course I think you are a creep in which case I won't want to hug you.
Help getting my stuff to the Burner Express Stop
People packed my stuff at the truck stop when I was sick and hurting
An AMAZING pickle.  Seriously best pickle ever!
a kind soul to hold on to my apartment keys so I wouldn't lose them on Playa
a kind soul to look after my car so it wouldn't accrue parking tickets and get towed away
a tow to see the temple burn when I was too sick to bike or walk
the delivery of my personal items by Camp Baggage Check to the temple when I was too sick to bike
     or walk
peppermint candies
Juice
I really don't want to forget any gifts but I know that I may be.  I can always come back and add them
      later :)

So those are some of the lovely gifts that I received.  One way to get over the Post Playa Blues is to try to manifest things that one values about Burning Man in their every day life.  The other day, as I said before, I was feeling sad, sick, confused about the meaning of all of it and I became mindful of all the amazing people that I have here in this sometimes cold city and the bounty of gifts that I am receiving now.  So to bring elation to the heart and appreciation to the gifts lets list them here.

An invitation to go participate in the gathering of The International Council of the 13 Indigenous
      Grandmothers in Africa (SO EXCITED!!!!)
help getting my stuff from the truck location to home
HUGS! the local florist adores me and loves to give me hugs :)
There was a street fair by where I live so I got the following from that
    A piece of chocolate
    A stress release packet
    A mixture of herbal tea
    A Rose sachet
    5 Gladiolas (they were only giving away 1 at a time and the local florist adores me :)
A kind soul to listen to me about my anxiety and sadness over this past burn (it was really intense)
Notice that I was going to receive a care package in the mail (having pen pals is the best!)
Words of love, appreciation and adoration from my wonderful friends
Funny tales of VERY inappropriate things that made me laugh and blush

   I would love to share more about the Gifts that I gave to others, and I haven't really thought of that, prior to writing this entry I made a little list of some of the gifts I received and didn't include gifts that I gave.  I also, can't spend all morning dreaming of things to write here.  Time to get some stuff done.

     So I will leave with these closing thoughts.  That which we may want we already have, one must look closely for it may not appear in the ways we know how to recognize it.  Dreams remain dreams if they live in the head, when they are acted upon or steps are taken to manifest them, then they become reality.  The reality that we live in is as beautiful, as ugly, as sad or as wonderful as we perceive it to be.  Sometimes a little shift in perspective can create big changes!  Everyone is loved and inside every person there is some hurt so, always try to be kind.  If you don't feel loved, remember that I LOVE YOU.

This entry is not edited or corrected and is inspired by immediacy.