That was Sexist and I'm Sorry

     In my last blog post talking about many things including getting over ways that I have allowed myself to be treated in relationships. I repeated a saying that at the time made me laugh, I was sad and feeling dis-empowered, and having something or someone to laugh at I think made me feel better.

     As I was writing yesterday, I had this inner voice that wanted me to delete the story where I recount a friend of mine said "Really, all this just over some dick." I had this idea that now that there is an audience that maybe it would offend someone and then I had to ask myself does it offend me? As a woman, I don't appreciate being treated like a sex object unless I want to be treated like a sex object and have given consent to it.
   
     When anyone say "he/she's a pussy" it really bothers me.  That a part of my body would be used as an insult to someone else. Ironically, it is also a part of my body that politicians fight over and other people fight over. So here I am, being a hypocrite. Telling a story in which a man is summed up to be a part of his body "a dick." I imagine that this might not bother many because it is more socially acceptable in our society to use this terminology. I imagine men out there though who would be really offended by this. I imagine that some of our male allies would find this degrading and not reciprocal of how they fight for our equality.

     I am sorry that I put it in there. Today I almost erased it. I think that writing this though is better than erasing it cause erasing it would not have led to this regretfully inspired repeating of the story and shedding light on maybe something that isn't often talked about.  I'm sorry that I repeated a sexist remark. Neither of the subjects that were written about were only sums of their body parts. They were beautiful people. Beautiful, flawed, intelligent, creative people and no although the sex was usually good, they don't deserve to be degraded to a part of their body. Name calling, though it can make someone feel empowered. Is simply not right. Reclaiming power from within, respecting oneself, making decisions that coincide with the heart and values, those are all empowering. After repeating that story, I felt disempowered, ashamed, thoughtless, inconsiderate...the list of judgmental words can go on.  For now though, I mainly want to say that I am sorry and I will be more mindful of how I deal with pain and feeling disempowered as a result of relations with other men.

     Do you think I should erase the part in the post? It brought up a good topic, and that topic can be talked about here. I really would love your opinion