Monday, March 30, 2015

Cat Call Response Sing a Long by Mississippi Jones

   The other day I was having dinner with my dear friend, talented artist and overall awesome woman Mississippi Jones.  We're both feminists and were having a discussion about woman's history month and something else that I will share at some point in the future. Over yummy Thai food, she protected me from the chili peppers, we drifted off in the direction of street harassment.

   I mentioned to her that I don't respond when people harass me on the street, that I often don't know what to say. She told me she's a big responder and shared with me a selection of things to say back to someone who is cat calling or street harassing.

   I asked her if it was ok if I wrote a blog post about it and she said sure. Then this Sunday, I was totally excited when I found out that instead of doing her weekly song, which she has been doing for almost two years minus a couple of Sundays, she put together a Call and Response Song on what to say to street harassers.

I urge you to participate, not only is it fun and empowering but practicing can prepare you better for what to say the next time you get harassed if you want to respond back and of course if it is safe to.





                                                            
                                                               and remember!

Mississippi Jone's Response for Street Harassment
                                                             

                                                                  1. Really?!
                  
                                                                  2. I don't care what you think!

      3. I'm not here for you!

  4. Stop harassing me

                                                                  5. Go Fuck Yourself!

Also please share in the comments any response you have for street harassment.

I Have Compassion for you and Commit to You




   On the inspiration of my friend and teacher, Yeshe Mathew, I decided to follow forth and engage in this ritual, "women's history month daily practice". It's been an interesting practice. I think of every element, my self, other women throughout the world, the earth, and when I have created enough imagery, ideas, emotions, I get the chills and then either say "I compassion for you and commit to you self." or "I commit to you women" or "I commit to you Mother Earth" Each day I say all three. When I think of myself, I look at a picture of me when I was about two I think, It's a happy photo but one that took me some time to like. About a year ago, when I first started putting pictures of my past in my apartment, I brought this one out and showed this to my therapist, I said "This girl, I don't feel like she is me, this girl is not me" My therapist told me that she was me and that it was my job to look at that photo and realize that that was me. By the time the "women's history month daily practice" began. I had already realized that that little girl was me and all the pain she went through is a part of me. Sometimes I think she is still inside of me. Although I do know it is me, I sometimes think she looks like an old wise asian man.


   It seemed important to put that photo on my altar. I look at it an I say "I have compassion for you and commit to you self" and writing this now I realize that there has been something missing. I haven't been thinking about the challenges that I am facing, the ways that I am trying to grow, the mythic patterns that live inside my story. These are things that I will now think about when I look at this photo. When I have looked at that photo I could feel them and in hindsight acknowledge the power of adding vocalization to this practice.

   Then I think of women. I think of the women who are my friends, the women who dislike me, the women who have hurt me, the women who are going through hard times whether they are financial, emotional, psychological, a mother who can not feed her children, a woman struggelig with getting pregnant, the women that can not show their faces, the women that are beaten, raped, the women who have to fight for equality in the work place and still struggle to get it, and when my body trembles with chills I say "I have compassion for you and commit to you women."






   Then I look at a photo of the earth taken from outer space. I think of the pollutants in the ocean, the threat of extinction of animals, the packaging of our food that creates waste, the poison that is put into our foods into our earth, into our water, into our bodies, I think of emissions, pollutants, fracking, oil, the hunting of whales, I think of all the things that I can do to make this world heal. I think of all the ways we can heal the earth: keeping pollutants out of water, keeping pollutants out of our food, keeping pollutants out of our trash, reducing the seen and unseen effects that humans have on the oceans, eating locally, refuse, reuse, recycle, protecting wildlife areas so that there may still be space for all that is wild, participating in activist acts for the earth whether they are done on a personal day to day level or with others, and when i get goosebumps and my body trembles I say "I have compassion for you and commit to you Mother Earth."




  In one way I was able to witness a direct effect of this practice was in analyzing abuse. One of the women who I stated I had compassion for was someone who really hurt me and verbally and emotionally abused me.  I still know that she is a wonderful person. Having compassion for her made me think of how she lacked the skills to engage in challenging conversations in other ways, how maybe someone had treated her like this. It also made me look at myself, I had been emotionally and verbally abusive in the past. It was something I learned. When threatened come out with guns blazing. I was able to acknowledge that its been a long time since I responded this way.  That I have been digging within to find alternative ways to respond. Whether that response has to be disengaging from an abusive situation, calling it out, or not communicating with someone when I have become irate.  I don't have to hit below the belt because someone else does, although I may want to. Being abusive from fear, anger, love or dislike is not ok.  This is something that I chose to withdrawal from so that I don't make the same choices. I think about the people that have lied, cheated, deceived and the awful circumstances that they have come from that has led them to respond in abusive ways. I have compassion for their pain,  for their history, for the feelings that they feel even though in my heart I feel that their actions are wrong. I have deep compassion for all those affected by abuse.

Daily I have compassion for myself and commit to myself. Daily I have compassion for women and commit to women. Daily I have compassion for Mother Earth and commit to Mother Earth.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Whale and the Massage

    I began writing by describing what has passed over the past couple months because it seems like the thing to do. That's not what brought me here today though. What brought me here today is the thought "I can't remember the last time I had a good dream." That sentence has come up a couple times as I haven't been having any good dreams just nightmares. It's been like this now since February I think. Night after night dead relatives would show up in my sleep, painful stories from the past would play over and over and I would wake up in a state of dread, horror and anxiety, wondering what sort of doom would be coming warranting these nightmares. I've grown more accustomed to them. They don't rock my day and spin me into a state of fear. I had another one last night. Instead, I just sit here with my heart aching a little bit.

    I keep on saying that "I can't remember the last time I had a good dream." Last night I noticed that whenever I have said that or thought that, in the depths of my memory is the dream of the whale. I don't remember if it is officially the last good dream I had, it is the one that I remember though. I was in Hawai'i at one of my favorite spots, the ocean was calm and the day was beautiful.  On the reef was a big humpback whale. I can see the grooves of its throat so thick and so pronounced. Somehow I manage to be by the humpback, its not in danger even though its out of the water, it's just chilling there. The humpback whale has migrated thousands of miles and is oh so tired and would love so much if I gave em a massage. The humpback whale asks me for a massage. I explain to the humpback how I would love to give em a massage but that e is so big and I am so small and if e just moved even a little bit that e would crush me.  The humpback reassured me that he would hold perfectly still and would not even move a bit. I remember touching em, I think e giggled a bit as e was tickled. I wondered if this massage thing was actually going to work out. That was the dream, hanging out with a whale negotiating a massage on one of my favorite spots in the world. I LOVE whales.